AHHH It's my Birthday Today....And I am SO FREAKIN...
Happy to be alive! It’s my birthday and I am so happy to be alive.
It was actually my birthday yesterday – but I was bit down yesterday – partly because I couldn’t be in nyc –partly because I had to take statistics path analysis regression class that gives me a heart attack -
but I couldn’t figure out why I would get a bit down each time a person would say happy birthday to me.
But then I figured it out today – it was because after people would wish me happy birthday, the conversation would lead to their own birthday or age - they would then say something like - “oh man – another year – my birthday is coming up soon and I’m just getting older and older – I don’t want to turn X age!” And almost every single person would lament about their own age after they congratulated me. Or they would ask leading questions like, “so how does it feel getting closer to 30? You’re getting up there!” As if I should feel doom and gloom!
I realized that people were projecting their own insecurities about getting older onto me. Well, Adriene helped me realize this – she said when people start thinking about their own birthday, they think of all the things they haven’t done yet – like have kids, the dream job, dream relationship, and etc.
You know what – I am happy to alive and I am happy to be happy. There are so many places in the world where people wish they can make it another year – they wish they don’t get hit by a bomb, they wish they can provide enough food for themselves and their family – there are places in the world where no matter how hard you try to do the right things, the conditions are just dangerous – there are ciites in our own country where living is a struggle.
Then there are people who have all there basic needs met and are alive, but they really aren’t living. I am happy to be living.
I am happy that my grandmother is healthy. I am happy that Kenyatta is doing work he is excited about and that he’s my wonderful partner. I am happy that my family is healthy and well – I am happy that I made such great friends in San Diego – I am happy that Leah is my sidekick in grad school, i am happy that I so far I haven't crashed and burned in grad school, I am happy that I have a great mentor, I am happy that Ellen/joe/henry/Anne are 2 hrs away from me, I am happy that Liane and Emilia are so brave, I am happy that Tymeisha, Bobby, Kimberly, Rene are doing well – and I am sooo happy Tymeisha, Bobby and Renard are going to college – I am happy that Thomas is still in college, I am happy that Yesenia is an amazing fearless woman, I am happy I live in such an amazing house with such a great friend – Adriene – I am happy that Lucy is happy in doggy heaven, I am happy to have lovely soft sheets, I am happy that I really love myself and know my worth.
Happy Birthday Tricia – you’re alive – keep living a lovely day.
It was actually my birthday yesterday – but I was bit down yesterday – partly because I couldn’t be in nyc –partly because I had to take statistics path analysis regression class that gives me a heart attack -
but I couldn’t figure out why I would get a bit down each time a person would say happy birthday to me.
But then I figured it out today – it was because after people would wish me happy birthday, the conversation would lead to their own birthday or age - they would then say something like - “oh man – another year – my birthday is coming up soon and I’m just getting older and older – I don’t want to turn X age!” And almost every single person would lament about their own age after they congratulated me. Or they would ask leading questions like, “so how does it feel getting closer to 30? You’re getting up there!” As if I should feel doom and gloom!
I realized that people were projecting their own insecurities about getting older onto me. Well, Adriene helped me realize this – she said when people start thinking about their own birthday, they think of all the things they haven’t done yet – like have kids, the dream job, dream relationship, and etc.
You know what – I am happy to alive and I am happy to be happy. There are so many places in the world where people wish they can make it another year – they wish they don’t get hit by a bomb, they wish they can provide enough food for themselves and their family – there are places in the world where no matter how hard you try to do the right things, the conditions are just dangerous – there are ciites in our own country where living is a struggle.
Then there are people who have all there basic needs met and are alive, but they really aren’t living. I am happy to be living.
I am happy that my grandmother is healthy. I am happy that Kenyatta is doing work he is excited about and that he’s my wonderful partner. I am happy that my family is healthy and well – I am happy that I made such great friends in San Diego – I am happy that Leah is my sidekick in grad school, i am happy that I so far I haven't crashed and burned in grad school, I am happy that I have a great mentor, I am happy that Ellen/joe/henry/Anne are 2 hrs away from me, I am happy that Liane and Emilia are so brave, I am happy that Tymeisha, Bobby, Kimberly, Rene are doing well – and I am sooo happy Tymeisha, Bobby and Renard are going to college – I am happy that Thomas is still in college, I am happy that Yesenia is an amazing fearless woman, I am happy I live in such an amazing house with such a great friend – Adriene – I am happy that Lucy is happy in doggy heaven, I am happy to have lovely soft sheets, I am happy that I really love myself and know my worth.
Happy Birthday Tricia – you’re alive – keep living a lovely day.
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